Contemporary Retirement
Retirement is changing. The type of retirement that their parents enjoyed is no longer enough for the baby boomer generation. Today’s retirees are younger, richer, fitter, healthier and better educated than previous generations of retirees. They also have much higher expectations. The aim of this blog is to help you get the vital, healthy, prosperous, productive and fulfilling retirement that you really want (and deserve).Tuesday, October 31, 2006
The Brain Fitness Channel
Monday, October 30, 2006
Powers of Concentration by Brad Edmondson - AARP article
Six years ago, Tom developed a heart problem and diabetes. Now 77, he sleeps a lot, doesn't leave the house much, and when he's tired it's hard to get his attention. His situation doesn't bother him, he says, because his next stop is heaven. But it bothers me to see him slip. It's the kind of thing that can keep me awake at night, even though there's no apparent urgency. After all, at 47, I, too, feel groggy more often. That's just how it is.
Or so I thought until, at a conference on aging last year, I heard doctors and scientists agree that older people stay sharper when they stimulate their brains with lots of socializing and problem solving. The good news: The brain is "a machine designed for continuous adaptation," said Gene Cohen, a psychiatrist who directs aging research at George Washington University in Washington. But the brain needs continuous challenge: "If a concert musician stops practicing, you can see her ability deteriorate within a month," said Michael Merzenich, a neuroscientist at the University of California-San Francisco. "If she keeps practicing, she can keep her ability until the end of her life."
The music analogy reminded me of what had been another of my father's passions: singing and playing the saxophone in a home-grown combo called the Aristocats. When the band did "Spanish Eyes," Tom, a compulsive entertainer, would put on a big sombrero, break out maracas and launch into his best Al Martino impersonation. In fact, he was reluctant to check into the hospital for his heart condition in 1999 because it meant canceling a big New Year's Eve gig. But he did check in, was declared seriously ill and never picked up his sax again.
If Tom wouldn't practice music, I thought, maybe I could get him to start exercising his brain on a computer. As a matter of fact, I'd try it, too. Merzenich, the chief scientific officer of Posit Science Corp. of San Francisco, the manufacturer of the Brain Fitness Program—one of a growing number of software programs designed to exercise the brain—agreed to send one copy of the program to my dad and one to me at my home in Ithaca, N.Y. Both of us would complete 40 one-hour sessions, compare notes along the way and gauge our progress.
The Brain Fitness Program draws on a decade or so of insights into the human brain's reaction to different stimuli, insights gathered using several tools, including one called functional MRI (fMRI). In fMRI, a person puts on special glasses before entering a magnetic resonance imaging machine. While the subject views pictures and solves problems displayed on the glasses, researchers observe how different types of stimuli change electrical activity and blood flow in areas of the brain.
"It is now possible to observe changes in brain activity in real time," says Richard Restak, M.D., the author of The Naked Brain: How the Emerging Neurosociety Is Changing How We Live, Work, and Love. "As a result, neuroscientists can monitor the brain's responses and observe how its performance improves with brain-enhancing exercises."
When presented with my idea for exercising his brain, my dad balked. "My brain is already exercised to its capacity," he e-mailed me, "as one of a unique group of patriotic writers spending all their time and money to try to motivate their fellow citizens." But then I bought him a computer upgrade and promised to buy myself the complete works of his favorite free-market economist if he'd go along, and he agreed.
The program was easy for each of us to set up. I wore headphones and concentrated on the screen while cartoon doctors with calming voices prepared me for what was coming. Then the real work began; it was harder than I expected.
There were six exercises. One called High or Low played tones that rise or fall, and I had to describe what I heard by clicking on an "up" or "down" button. It got harder as the sounds became shorter and closer together. The Match It exercise is like the old game show Concentration, except the objective is to match sounds rather than images. During Tell Us Apart, an exercise in distinguishing similar syllables, I found it almost impossible to differentiate "shee" from "chee" and caught myself crankily blaming my hearing problems on the speaker.
Later I remembered something Henry Mahncke, a vice president at Posit Science, had told me: "As a person ages, it gets harder to process sensory input quickly. It's as if your brain is a radio that is getting rising levels of static. If you don't correct the tuning, you will understand less of what you see and hear."
So I bore down, and after a few more sessions something interesting happened. While walking home one evening, I realized I hadn't had a mid-afternoon slump. I'd stayed focused and productive the entire day. Maybe the hard work was paying off.
And my dad? At first blaming the six dogs he tends for his inability to concentrate, he wrote that the program "requires concentration that is too broken up here to provide unless the Lord provides help." And after I reported my improvement and inquired whether he, too, noticed anything, he replied, "I can speak Lithuanian now, and I'm slightly congested."
Despite the sarcasm, there was headway. At the end of each session, the computer sent our results to Posit Science for evaluation, and after our 40 sessions, my dad and I conferred with Mahncke by phone. "Tom made nice steady progress through the High or Low exercise," Mahncke said. "At the end, he was processing about 85 percent faster than he was at the beginning." He had also improved his ability to recall a story accurately and to follow a series of instructions.
Tom agreed that in fact he could feel a change. For one thing, he wasn't falling asleep as much. My mom confirmed that he had indeed gotten more energetic and talkative—although, she added, this was not necessarily a good thing. As for me, Mahncke said, my results were typical for people in their late 40s, who often find the material easier than older exercisers. (I didn't tell him about my cranky days.)
Clearly, the Brain Fitness Program had been good for my dad and for me. For one thing, we were talking more often, and he was telling me more about how he was feeling—which made me feel better.
Brad Edmondson is a vice president of ePodunk.com, which profiles U.S. towns.
For more information about brain fitness programmes, or to access the excellent AARP website, click on the following link:
http://www.aarp.org/bulletin/yourhealth/powers_of_concentration.html.Friday, October 27, 2006
Comfort food...
Who knew that you could make apple crumble in a slow-cooker? Or Apricot Ginger Chicken? Or Brownie Pudding Cake? Not me, for sure! I'm strictly a soups and stews kinda gal!
If you never feel like cooking when you get home at the end of the day, why not dig out your old slow-cooker or crockpot and have a look at http://www.squidoo.com/crockpotcookingdaily/. Just the thing to cheer you up as you walk through the door in the evening - especially now that we're about to have an extra hour of darkness...
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Warning over crushed pills - BBC News article
Did you know that crushing pills to make them easier to swallow can have potentially dangerous, even fatal, side effects? Read all about it here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6085192.stm.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Do you eat a first class diet?
Would you like to lose weight naturally, stay lean and, at the same time, feel full and satisfied? If that sounds like you, (and it certainly sounds like me!) then the Nutrient Rich website could hold the answer.
Nutrient Rich is not a diet - it's a flexible approach to eating whole foods that combine all the nutrients you need. Have a look around their website - there are tons of free resources including a blog, recipes and a free monthly teleclass for subscribers, and you can also learn about the 3 classes of foods - First, Second and Third.
Check it out at http://www.nutrientrich.com/index.html.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Active adult and retirement communities
On my visits to the US, I have often admired some of the fabulous active adult and retirement communities, complete with golf courses, hotels, club houses, even village churches! We have nothing like this here in the UK - I don't think think we have enough available land to even contemplate building on such a scale. However, I have recently heard about a company which is starting to build communities for people of age fifty plus, who are wishing to pursue active lifestyles in the warmer climate of Southern Europe.
Village Vita Communities is currently in negotiation to build several large, community-based developments in Cyprus, Spain and Portugal and the company is expecting to announce their finalised plans within the next 3 months. For more information and to join their mailing list, check out:
http://www.thematuremarket.com/SeniorStrategic/interview.php?numi=7827&idrb=5 and www.villagevita.com.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Things to think about...
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Friday, October 20, 2006
The Retirement Show 2007 - Birmingham
Although it's over half a year away, if you live in the UK and are planning to retire in the near future, you might be interested in paying a visit to The Retirement Show at Birmingham NEC on Friday 8 June and Saturday 9 June. Entry on the door will be £10, but if you pre-register for the show now, you'll get free entry tickets. The website is http://www.the-retirement-show.com/.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Why should you choose a Contemporary Retirement pre-retirement course or coaching package?
Why should you choose a Contemporary Retirement pre-retirement course or coaching package?
Good question! Well... I’m passionate about helping people like you to get the
• happiest
• healthiest
• most vital
• most productive
• most energetic
• most prosperous
• most fulfilling retirement you could possibly have, whilst, at the same time, helping you to balance having the kind of retirement you want and deserve to have with planning to meet your future needs.
Unlike other companies who offer the standard, pre-retirement, financial/estate planning fare, I prefer to adopt a much more holistic approach to retirement. My courses, which combine proven life coaching and self development principles and practices with current thinking in retirement life-stage planning, help you to excavate your dreams, desires and wishes for this next stage of your life and then use them to design your ideal retirement.
My certification as a Retirement Options™ trained retirement coach, combined with my life coach training from CoachU and the Graduate School of Coaching, and the fact that, for over 20 years, I have worked with individuals and groups as a Life Coach, Manager, Lecturer and Trainer have helped me develop a fun, compassionate, practical, down-to-earth coaching style. (And the fact that I took my first retirement at the ripe old age of 43 means that I know what I’m talking about when discussing both the expected and unforeseen challenges which you may encounter once you retire.)
In addition, at various stages of my life I have either been or still am
• married
• divorced
• a long-term singleton (for 7 years and I enjoyed (almost) every minute of it)
• a co-habitee
• a step-parent complete with kippers (Kids In Parent’s Pocket Eroding Retirement Savings)
• an employee
• a manager
• a small-business owner and
• a landlord
- which all means that I have a wide range of life experience, which, in turn, makes me aware of and sensitive to the many and varied needs of my clients and course attendees.
From January 2007, I intend to concentrate on offering my pre-retirement courses in the Manchester area of the UK by running one 2-day course per month in a central Manchester location. However, I also intend to stage additional forays into other towns and cities close to my heart – such as Leeds and York in my adopted home of Yorkshire and the beautiful Llandudno/Conwy area (where we keep our boat).
In addition, my pre-retirement course will be offered as an eCourse – delivered direct to your email inbox (with teleclass support) from January of next year, which means that you won’t need to live in the UK (or travel huge distances) to attend one of my courses. A teleclass is just a class that takes place over the telephone. All class members call into a bridge (or conference) line at the same time and they are able to speak to each other without ever having to leave their own home or workplace. (No petrol or parking fees! No need to get dressed up - join us in your pyjamas if you feel like it - we'll never know! No rushing around to get to the venue on time - just sit down with your phone in a quiet place at the designated time and enjoy the class!)
I use a U.S. bridge (conference) line because they are much cheaper than those in the UK. However, if you live in the UK and you register beforehand with a low-cost telephone provider such as 1899.com, your call will cost as little as 1p per minute (approximately 60p for the 1 hour session).
If you’re interested in receiving more information about the Contemporary Retirement Coaching pre-retirement eCourse, drop me a line at retirement@annharrisonlifecoaching.com.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
How to take off 10 years or more
Just after I finished yesterday's post about the ways we can avoid spending our later years in a nursing home, I found the following anti-aging guide by Andreas Von Bubnoff and Joanna Lloyd which continues in a similar vein and which was published on the Florida-based website, The Ledger.com. Read it here:
http://health.theledger.com/article/20061012/TOPSTORY/1994/-1/RSS2&source=RSS.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Want to avoid that nursing home? Read on...
I came across an article on the Health and Age website which summarises the major lifestyle factors which increase the likelihood of a middle-aged person entering a nursing home as they get older. And the good news is... the factors can all be corrected or controlled. The article has been written by Robert W Griffith, MD, and you can read it here:
http://www.healthandage.com/public/article/3156/Are-You-Headed-For-the-Nursing-Home.html
Monday, October 16, 2006
Business start-up advice
I found an interesting resource for those of you that are thinking of starting up a business as you approach retirement. Start Up Nation offers small business advice and articles for entrepreneurs. Check it out at http://www.startupnation.com/index.asp.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Awake in Leeds at 7.10 in the morning and itching to talk by Michael Gerber
Michael Gerber, author of small business bible, The E-Myth Revisited, visited the UK last week for a workshop on his latest concept, The Dreaming Room, and this was his inspirational blog entry written from his hotel room in Leeds last Friday morning:
I have so much to say and so little time to say it.
Have you ever felt that way?
The truth is I’m 70 going on 13, and I think my soul is turned around.
According to all the rules of this game – this life thing, this whatever it is thing, this first you are born and then you do all of the things you do and feel all of the things you feel and make all those stupid mistakes and have children and more mistakes and get married and more mistakes and work and work and work and so forth and so on which nobody prepared you for, not at the beginning or anywhere along the line – according to all the rules of the game I shouldn’t be feeling this way.
At 70 I should be more sedate, ready to settle down into my wise years, my mellow years, my thoughtful years, my settling down years, my getting ready for the end years.
But no, not me. And I wonder, is there something seriously wrong with me? Is this never ending overwhelming rush of juice simply the symptom of something gone seriously awry in my peripatetic system? Or is it something else altogether? And why, Dear God, am I sitting here at 7:26 in the morning in Leeds, UK, having this solitary conversation with you wherever you are? Am I possessed?
Well, let me say this: there is something very seriously exciting going on in my life and I simply have to share it with you.
I am creating an entirely new world.
Yes, I am.
I am creating an entirely new world, the world I call dreaming. And it is growing every second of every day. It is growing in me and it is growing in the people who come to me. It is growing in the people they touch. The juice is flowing wherever this dreaming thing, which has come to me like a gift from heaven, is planted. It begins to grow. It begins to grow in little green shoots, and then it sprouts up like a great green something or other, and there are smiles everywhere I look, and I can’t help smiling when I see them, and my heart feels warm and it fills my chest and throat, and I am a hopeless romantic, yes, but when everyone around me who is reachable at all, begins to talk and act like a 13 year old, something, something, something inexpressibly joyful is taking place. And that’s what pulled me to my laptop at now 7:40 in the a.m. in Leeds, UK…I had to tell it to someone!
And it’s beastly outside!
Can they see the bright light glaring behind the shades of my hotel room, glaring, glaring, like a small sun, behind the shades of my hotel room in Leeds, UK, can the people walking down the street in Leeds, UK in their cold weather morning clothes, looking so tired and grumpy and stuck in their early morning gear going to the job routine, can they see the bright light looking as if it might explode from my window, as they walk sullenly resignedly past, wearily past my sixth story hotel window down there on the everyday street, can they feel what’s going on in here?
Can you?
Are you ready to strip off your cold weather gear, strip off your wet weather gear, strip down to shorts, to flowered shirts, to the hot weather stuff that speaks of romance, and play, and just plain sexy thought?
Are you ready to reinvent your entire life?!
Then come play with me.
I’m 70 and I’m dangerous and I’m not to be repressed!
And all manner of green things are growing in here!
I’m Michael Gerber.
Chief Dreamer
In The Dreaming Room®
Come dream with me!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Money made fun
The subject of Michael Neill's internet radio show this week is 'Money made fun'. Here are the details from Michael's newsletter:
This week, LIVE on 'You Can Have What You Want'
(Live internet radio at
Thursday, October 12 at Noon pacific/3pm eastern/8pm UK:
*****MONEY MADE FUN*****
Is your relationship with money an enjoyable one?
Listen live as Michael shares his favorite strategies, tips, and
techniques for creating financial peace on any income.
We'll be taking your calls during the show, so if you'd like to
have more fun having more money, phone in for some live
coaching on these
numbers:
Inside the US (Toll free)
1-866-254-1579
From the UK/Outside the US
001-760-918-4300
*THIS WEEK ONLY, ALL CALLERS WHO GET ON AIR WILL RECEIVE A FREE
COPY OF MY E-BOOK 'MONEY MADE FUN'!*
To listen to the show live this and every Thursday, go to
http://www.hayhouseradio.comat Noon pacific/8pm UK and click on
the button marked 'Listen Now'.
If you missed last week's show on being 'ADDICTED TO STRUGGLE'
(and I have to say, it was one of my favorites!), please visit
http://www.hayhouseradio.com/and click the button
for the 'Listen Again' archives!
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
New way to build stronger bones - BBC News article
American scientists have discovered a way to trigger bone production, raising hopes of a treatment for osteoporosis.
A team at the Howard Hughes Medical Institute found they could massively increase bone mass in mice by tweaking the structure of a protein in the body.
The modification is so minor they hope the side-effects will be minimal if the process is repeated in humans.
Osteoporosis, caused by thinning of the bones, affects about three million people in the UK.
It is estimated that it is responsible for 230,000 fractures suffered by Britons each year.
Details of the study were published in the journal Developmental Cell.
In vertebrates, bone is constantly being formed and broken down throughout life.
Cells called osteoclasts continuously degrade bone, while cells called osteoblasts replenish it.
Out of balance
In an ideal situation, the two types of cell are perfectly balanced, allowing the bone to maintain bone mass.
However, if the balance is upset and more bone is destroyed than formed it can lead to osteoporosis.
The researchers found that they could tip the balance by modifying the structure of a protein called NFATc1.
Their work was sparked by reports that patients who were treated with the immunosuppressant drug cyclosporine tended to lose bone mass.
Cyclosporine is known to trigger a change of shape - and function - in the NFATc family of proteins.
The researchers modified NFATc1 in mice so it could move more easily into the command centre of cells, and thus become a little more active than usual.
This triggered the production of large amounts of new bone.
Cell count up
Analysis showed that the animals' tissue contained increased numbers of both type of bone cell.
However, the increased production of osteoblasts was never quite matched by that of osteoclasts - and thus more bone is laid down, than is degraded.
The research suggested that NFATc1 stimulated production of osteoblasts, which in turn released inflammatory proteins called chemokines, which promote osteoclast development.
Researcher Dr Gerald Crabtree said it could potentially be possible to develop new drugs to treat osteoporosis by recreating the same effect.
They are hopeful that the risk of side-effects would be minimal, as only small modifications to NFATc1 were required to produce a profound effect.
NFATc1 in the mice that developed extra bone was only 10% more active than it is in normal mice.
Dr Crabtree said: "The results were dramatic, yet the molecular alteration is very, very minimal.
"If you could find a small molecule that would flip 10% of the existing NFATc1 into the active form you could favour the formation of osteoblasts and make stronger bones."
Pauline Davey, of the UK National Osteoporosis Society, said the condition had a major impact on NHS costs and the quality of patients' lives.
"Broken hips in particular cost the NHS and government £1.7bn a year to treat so finding effective drug treatments that reduce this burden is of great importance.
"There are a range of drug treatments which are effective but all drugs have side-effects which means some people can't get on with them.
"Therefore it's really important that there are other equally effective treatments that they can use."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/5412272.stm
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Free hugs...
If you're feeling a little bit down or grumpy this Monday morning, have a look at the following film and I defy you not to smile: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Don't mention the 'D' word
I must thank fellow coach Judith Morgan for introducing me, via her blog, to Monday9am.tv. The people at Monday9am.tv describe themselves as follows:
We make and screen short films that provoke you to think about what it is that makes you feel truly alive.
A new 'film of the week' up every Monday, so all you really need is around 5 minutes each week.
The films star a catalogue of extraordinary people who are following their path in some way. But the films are more about you & me than they are about them.
They ask questions of you. Questions we don't set out to answer, as often they are the ones that only you should answer for yourself.
monday9am ... because Monday at 9 is the time at which most of us question what it is that we're doing, and then proceed to completely forget (or is it ignore) the question.
The film of the week for this week is 'don't mention the 'D' word' and it features Ph.D. Gerontlogist, Dr Barbara Spring talking about dying (the 'D' word) or, more accurately, talking about the way that we avoid talking about dying, often at all costs. Watch the film here:
http://www.monday9am.tv/fotw/play.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Catch your Z's by Stephanie Houseman, DMD
Although Dr Stephanie Houseman was aiming the article below at health care professionals, it makes interesting reading for anyone who is interested in remaining as healthy as possible for as long as possible:
"Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” Whether you believe that statement by Benjamin Franklin to be true or false, there is no denying the power of sleep. In today’s fast paced society, sleep often takes a back seat to your “to-do” list. No wonder many people go through the day feeling tired.
A 2005 National Sleep Foundation survey found that, compared with 1998, more people are sleeping less than six hours a night. Researchers also say that after two weeks, people sleeping four to six hours a night are as cognitively impaired as those who have been awake for two or three days. (Harvard Health) Imagine the impact on your business if this describes you.
Harvard Health has outlined the benefits of sleep:
Learning and memory. Sleep helps the brain commit new information to memory. When you studied for a test, didn’t you find that “sleeping on” the material helped you retain it better? Creative problem-solving also occurs while one is asleep.
Metabolism and weight. Losing weight is never easy, but consider this: “Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain. How? By altering metabolic functions, such as processing and storage of carbohydrates, and by stimulating the release of excess cortisol, a stress hormone. Excess cortisol has been linked to increased abdominal fat.” Besides which, who wants more stress?
Safety. Sleep debt only contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep for a few seconds off and on throughout the day. These lapses can have a profound impact on your daily activities, ranging from errors in your work to home and traffic accidents.
Mood and quality of life. Sleep loss can result in greater irritability, moodiness, impatience, and inability to concentrate. This will affect your relationships with family members, friends, and those at work.
Cardiovascular health. Sleep apnea and insomnia can be linked to hypertension, increased stress hormones, cardiac arrhythmias, and increased inflammation (the buzz word these days). Faulty glucose metabolism, often leading to Type 2 diabetes, is also affected by sleep deprivation.
Immunity and cancer prevention. Research has shown that sleep loss alters immune function. There may also be a connection between melatonin (a hormone that’s made by the brain’s pineal gland when darkness falls and helps put one to sleep) and cancer risk.
Harvard Health went on to list a few ways to get a better night’s sleep:
Get regular exercise, but not within three hours of bedtime.
Do not use alcohol as a sleep aid.
Avoid caffeine from noon or midafternoon on.
Be careful with medications that can have an effect on your sleep.
Establish regular times for going to bed and getting up.
Keep your bedroom temperature comfortable (cool is better than warm).
See a professional if you have chronic problems.
Sleep amounts vary from person to person, but “experts believe that seven to nine hours is about right. The goal is to wake up feeling refreshed and to stay awake and alert throughout the day without relying on stimulants or other pick-me-ups.”
Do not shortchange your sleep. Your body will thank you.
Stephanie Houseman, DMD, Coach, Author, Speaker, is the creator of the 7 Steps 2 a Balanced Life Program™. She works with professionals who feel their life is a juggling act and helps them to discover how to have more joy and more LIFE in their life. She is committed to assisting you in restoring balance in your personal and professional life.
For more information visit our website.
Too Old for Love? Over 50 and Starting Over by Sandra Rohr, M.A.
...Like a fine wine, life and love can become more wonderful because of, not in spite of, aging.
Recently, I met a woman with an interesting story. It seems that she and her husband have been separated for many years. They went through almost all of the steps of divorce: filing the petition, discovery, mediation, the trial, receipt of the final divorce decree, and signing.
There’s only one remaining step to make the divorce final -- to take the signed documents to the judge who will pronounce the divorce final in open court. The interesting thing is that she’s held on to these documents for 2 ½ years! She and her husband have lived in limbo for all that time.
As she told me this story she sorted out the reasons for not completing her divorce, which included the security she felt by still being connected to someone, the ability to rely on her husband in a pinch, along with half a dozen other reasons. However, the main reason she has dragged her feet for so long is that she’s 59 and fearful about re-entering the dating/mating scene.
“I’m just too old! And I don’t know anything about dating anymore. It’s just been too long! Everything has changed!” She was nearly in tears as she related this to me. She was talking to the right person because I have been in her position. When I was widowed at 52, I felt I had little chance of ever being in a relationship again. For the next 6 years, I didn’t date at all.
Then, at 58, I was inspired by a friend (also a widow) who had found a new relationship. I began to date, tentatively at first, but I soon fell deeply in love. While this relationship didn’t work out in the long run (thank goodness!), it was the beginning of a new life for me.
In my experiences I’ve identified 5 deadly myths about being of a mature age and starting over:
Myth #1: It just can’t happen
No matter what images the media projects and in spite of statements like, “A woman over 50 is as likely to marry again as to be hit by lightning,” it’s not true that a life of love and intimacy is only for the young and the beautiful. All it takes is one person, and using the laws of attraction, to draw that person to you.
Myth #2: I don’t know enough
Sure, the dating scene has changed since you were a teen, but the people you’re likely to date, people of similar age, were born and raised in your era. This means they learned to date for the first time when you did. They’ll have the same understanding of how to date and relate as you do.
Consider that most of your potential dates will be just as nervous as you are. If you focus on putting your date at ease, you’ll feel more comfortable yourself, and you’ll make a better impression.
Myth #3: I’m too old to start over again
In spite of the tired cliché, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” you can learn all you need to know about dating right now. Consider that you probably learned how to date when you were 16, and now, you have considerably more life experience than you did then. If you recall, you are probably just as nervous now as you were as a teenager. Your maturity and life experiences will help you to learn all you need to know—and very quickly.
Myth #4: I will just get my heart broken
Actually, I can’t promise that this won’t happen, but I can promise you will recover, and you will learn from the experience. Life is risky, and when we put ourselves out there with the intent to love, we are vulnerable.
When I recall the relationship I had at 58, the one that broke my heart, my memories are wonderful. I loved feeling alive, sexy, and young. I rely every day on the lessons I learned from that experience. Did I think I might die after we broke up? Absolutely! Did I wish that it had never happened? Not for a minute! Since that time, I have continued to have other wonderful relationships that have greatly enriched my life.
Myth #5: Love, now, could never be as sweet as it once was
One thing that amazed me when I fell in love at 58 was that I felt like I was 16 again. I was just as nervous, just as eager, just as giddy. The love we shared was just as sweet, just as exciting, and just as fulfilling. Humans never get too old to feel that zing! And the sex, even with our aging bodies, can actually be far better, far more fulfilling than when we were young.
Like a fine wine, life and love can become more wonderful because of, not in spite of, aging. There is a dessert wine known as late harvest wine. This wine is created from select grapes left to hang on the vine late into the season. The grapes are affected by botrytis, the “noble rot,” that causes them to become dry and shriveled on the vine, and therefore highly concentrated with sugar.
When harvested by hand, pressed, and fermented, these grapes produce a sweet, luscious, honeyed, nectar-like wine. Love, later in life, can be just like that late harvest. It’s never too late for love, and it’s worth the risk. So go for life. Go for love. Drink deep from that sweet, luscious, honeyed, nectar-like cup!
Copyright ©2006 Sandra Rohr
Sandra Rohr, M.A. is a certified Life Purpose Coach and relationship coach, who specializes in helping singles to connect with their life partners and couples to establish and maintain strong relationships. Hear Sandy’s workshop on How to Be Irresistibly Attractive to the Opposite Sex at www.YourPersonalLoveCoach.com Sandy@YourPersonalLoveCoach.com 714.774.8540
Monday, October 02, 2006
Don't worry, be happy
'I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened.'
Mark Twain
Are you a worrier? Do you feel anxious about the future? Do you scare yourself with your thoughts? Do you imagine yourself into all sorts of dreadful situations and scenarios which never come to pass?
Worry is the biggest waste of resources ever - it wastes time and energy, it causes restless nights and interrupted sleep patterns, it wakes you up in the early hours of the morning and can destroy your health. After a night spent worrying, lack of sleep makes you feel bad and muddles your thinking. This means that you accomplish less, make more mistakes and end the day feeling terrible.
Worry never made the worried-about event less likely to happen. In fact, many people believe the opposite to be true - the Law of Attraction states that you attract what you think about and focus on.
Maybe you are the type of person who has fallen into the regular habit of imagining everything that could possibly go wrong with whatever you plan - you can probably actually picture the ensuing total catastrophe in your head in glorious Technicolor. However, since you have complete freedom to imagine the outcome of any situation, wouldn't it be better to put all that time and energy into imagining a successful outcome instead? To use your powerful imagination to conjure up a wonderful triumph where everything goes exceptionally well, everyone co-operates, your goals are achieved and you end up covered in glory and feeling wonderful?
Think back to this time last year. What were you worried about then? Did what you were worrying about actually happen? How about 5 years ago? Or 10? How much time do you estimate that you have spent worrying about things that have never happened over the last 10 years?
Imagine the worst-case scenario - the absolute worst thing that could happen in any given situation. What could you do now to ensure that this won't be a problem in the future? Think about what you would do and how you would cope. Draw up a contingency plan. Make sure everyone knows their part in the plan. Buy anything you need to buy. Set up any strategies, systems or routines you need to set up. Make any arrangements you need to make. Then relax and forget about it.
For example:
Worst case scenario
There will be a bird flu pandemic. So many people will be sick that:
• power stations will close down
• there will be no food in the shops
• hospitals will have no staff
• petrol stations will run out of petrol
• our tap water will be unsafe to drink
• the country will grind to a halt
What could you do now to prepare for such an eventuality?
Make a list. Work through it. Then relax.
Archives
April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006
