Contemporary Retirement

I just couldn't decide what to write about in this, my final tip in the series. I felt a bit like the Queen must feel when she's writing her Christmas speech to the nation. Should I urge you to look back over the year and think about all your achievements with gratitude? Should I encourage you to look ahead and visualise everything that you want next year to be? What well-chosen words could I use to inspire you and leave you with a feeling of peace and well-being? And then, whilst I was trying to make my mind up, I did a quick check on my inbox and found the following:

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

posted by Annie Harrison  # 12:20 PM 0 comments

Whilst I was thinking about what to write for the ninth tip in this series, the monthly newsletter from Michael Myerscough of The Relationship Gym plopped into my inbox and I knew that the following excerpt was exactly what I needed. It's food for thought whilst you are getting together with family and friends over the holiday and, if, for some reason, you can't all get together this year, it's a reminder to find some other way to get in touch with your loved ones and let them know what they mean to you.

Who Loves You?

I’ve been trying to come up with a chirpy end of year article and I have to say it’s not working for me right now. I’m actually more focused on a eulogy that I’m writing for my Gran, Margaret Myerscough, who died last week. Her death marks the end of me having any grandparents and has come as a bit of a shock. I have to say that at the moment I’m experiencing regret about not having said all the things to her that I would have liked her to know. Whilst most of us were aware that she wasn’t very well it was assumed that my Gran would be around for another year or so. Well, last week she died peacefully in her sleep and moved on.

I make every effort to communicate how special people are in my life and let the people I love know that they are loved. In this case however I assumed that it wasn’t urgent and hadn’t been in touch for a while. I’m aware that there are a hundred and one times when we are reminded that life is a very fragile thing and that taking it for granted is a bit of a mistake. I just want to make it one hundred and two in the hope that in some way it might make a difference to your life.

It turns out that I’m reading the eulogy because I was one of her favourite grand children (I’m confident that none of the others are reading this so I can say that without hurting any feelings) and the sad part about that is that I had no idea. The thing that I’m getting around to here is that if you love people or even if people are just special to you it’s really, really important that you let them know. Don’t assume that they know, ever!

This is true with your partners, your parents, siblings, relatives, friends and just about anyone you share this planet with that you have any affection for. It makes all the difference in my world to know that there are people who love me, people that are proud of me or even people who just like hanging out with me or value my thinking. I also know that a lot of those feelings only became clear to me when I started telling others how important they are to me. For whatever reason a lot of us can get stuck in the idea that communicating love, in whatever form, is a bit of a burden for people that they’d rather not endure. Trust me on this one, it’s not true. Sure it might feel a little awkward and you might both feel a little shy, but every one loves a little love. It’s truly amazing the emotional doors that open when you start being honest with people.

posted by Annie Harrison  # 7:35 AM 0 comments

Habit 8 is: Make it special

So far, I have been making a big assumption that you will be surrounded by family and friends during the holiday season.

I was single and living alone for 7 years after my marriage ended, which meant that I often spent quite long periods alone over Christmas, so I know how isolating this can feel.

Are you facing your first Christmas as a single person? Have all the kids decided to hit the ski slopes for the holidays? Are you separated from your loved ones this Christmas? You probably already know all the old chestnuts such as 'Invite your elderly neighbours over for Christmas' or 'Help out one of the charities serving Christmas lunch to homeless people on Christmas Day'. In addition to these though, I would like to offer you the following ideas to help you make Christmas feel special this year:

1. Try to have something to look forward to every day of the holiday - something you really love to do but often don't have time for in your everyday life

2. Use the holiday to do something completely different - learn something new, give yourself a makeover or turn your home into a spa, so that you start the New Year looking and feeling fabulous

3. Do Christmas your own way. Use the opportunity to just please yourself for the whole of the holiday - do absolutely nothing that you don't want to do and include as many of the things that you DO want to do as possible - totally indulge yourself

4. Research a subject that fascinates you - start 2007 as an 'expert' (well maybe expert status is unlikely, but you could take several steps towards it)

5. Clear your clutter and start the New Year with a clean, clear, clutter-free space

6. Rent out all the funny films you can find and have an hilarious holiday

7. Aim to solve a problem you have been procrastinating over before the holiday is done

8. Plan a new life for 2007

9. Get a temporary job in a lively bar or restaurant for the holiday period - earn some extra money and be part of the festivities at the same time

10. Spend the time researching that business you've always wanted to start - the Internet never takes a holiday, so log on and find out how you could start a business on a budget, then, in the New Year, resolve to spend (at least) one evening each week working on your new business until it's up and running

posted by Annie Harrison  # 7:45 AM 0 comments

One daily habit that will leave you feeling less frazzled, exhausted and resentful at the end of the holiday is Habit 7:

Don't try to do everything yourself - even if you KNOW you can do it better than everyone else. Persuade, bribe, threaten and cajole everyone who is sharing the holiday with you into doing their bit too!

If all the family traditionally descends on you for Christmas lunch, this year, get them to bring a dish with them - a starter course, a desert, a contribution to the main course - whatever their speciality is. Get everyone involved - put the teens on duty preparing sandwiches and making sure drinks are topped up. Even littlies can take guests' coats upon their arrival or collect empty plates and glasses and bring them to the kitchen.

Put your son-in-law or nephew in charge of the annual post-Christmas-lunch game of charades and when anyone half-heartedly offers to take charge of washing the dishes, instead of insisting that they relax with everyone else and enjoy the fun, thank them heartily and point them in the direction of the kitchen...

posted by Annie Harrison  # 6:46 AM 0 comments

My sixth recommendation for a daily habit in the run-up to the holiday season is: speak up.

Are you the one that ends up 'doing Christmas' single-handedly? Does everyone descend on you on Christmas Day (or worse, for the whole of the holiday), breathe a sigh of relief, plonk themselves on the sofa and prepare to be waited on hand and foot for the rest of the time? Are you the unpaid servant? Catering to everyone's needs (literally)? Running yourself ragged? Collapsing into bed at the end of a long day, exhausted and wanting to pull the covers over your head and sleep for a week?

Well, speak up! Tell everyone that you're not prepared to do it again. Politely insist that they help out (more on this in Part 7). Get everyone involved and doing their bit. Just because Christmas has traditionally been 'done' a certain way doesn't mean that it always has to be that way - especially if it means a miserable Christmas for you. Break old traditions and make some new ones. Schedule some time for yourself. Don't end up unhappy and resentful this Christmas - you deserve to enjoy it too!

posted by Annie Harrison  # 7:32 AM 0 comments

During both the hectic period running up to the holidays and the holiday itself,

Even if you can only manage half an hour, take that time and spend it by yourself, doing something that you enjoy. Maybe you might earmark that time to have a long soak in the bath, curl up and read a good book, listen to a piece of music that calms or inspires you or just lie on your bed in total silence with the phone turned off and a 'do not disturb' sign on the door. You know what it is that you need to do to keep body and soul together!

posted by Annie Harrison  # 7:47 AM 0 comments